Funny Birthday Quotes

Hello and welcome to my funny birthday quotes page. When it comes to age people amuse me. Its one of peoples worst fears and yet you really can’t control the outcome so why worry and dwell on it. It is a waste of time.



I personally believe in living your life to the fullest and not waste the time you have worrying about the inevitable. Please enjoy these funny birthday quotes made for you to laugh out loud.

• There is still no cure for the common birthday.
  John Glenn


• Inside every older person is a younger person, wondering what the hell happened.
  Cora Harvey Armstrong


• If I'd known I was going to live this long {A 100 years}, I'd have taken better care of myself.
  Ubie Blake


• When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
  Mark Twain


• Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
  Truman Capote


• First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
  Branch Rickey


• Youth is a disease from which we all recover.
  Dorothy Fulheim


• You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.
  Author Unknown


• Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
  Bob Hope


• Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.
  Steven Wright


• People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
  George Burns


• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
  Robert Frost


• Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
  Mary Schmich


• You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
  John Mason


• There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
  George Santayana

Hope you laughed out loud at these quotes. I believe its part of being a healthy human being to laugh at your self once in a while and this is one of those times.

Making people and yourself laugh is one of the greatest gifts out there. These funny birthday quotations are my gift to you. To your success!

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