Funny Drinking Quotes

• FUNNY DRINKING QUOTE OF THE PAGE
  A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
  W. C. Fields


• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  Henny Youngman


• My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?
  Henny Youngman


• What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
  Irish Proverb


• Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.
  Author Unknown


• A drunk mans words are a sober man’s thoughts.
  Steve Fergosi


• This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
  Samuel Johnson


• An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.
  Alvan L. Barach


• Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
  Don Marquis


• The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
  William Blake


• One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
  Ron Klugman


• Work is the curse of the drinking class.
  Oscar Wilde


• I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
  George Best


• I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
  W. C. Fields


• A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
  Henny Youngman


• No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
  Gilbert K. Chesterton


• Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
  Karl Marx


• The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
  Richard Braunstein


• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
  Stephen Wright


• Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
  George Burns


• Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
  Henry Lawson


• The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with.
  Carrol O’Connor (as Archie Bunker)


• Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
  W. C. Fields


• My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
  Henny Youngman


• I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
  Rodney Dangerfield


• An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
  Dylan Thomas




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