Funny Retirement Quotes

• FUNNY RETIREMENT QUOTE OF THE PAGE
  Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.
  George Burns


• Retirement: No Job, No Stress, No Pay!
  Author Unknown


• Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
  Jonathan Clements


• Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long.
  Burt Reynolds


• When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
  R.C. Sherriff


• The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.
  Author Unknown


• When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.
  Virginia Graham


• Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.
  Author Unknown


• Retired is being twice tired, I've thought - First tired of working, Then tired of not.
  Richard Armour


• I'm retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!
  Author Unknown


• When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired
  Author Unknown


• When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
  Gene Perret


• He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
  Author Unknown


• The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
  George Foreman


• There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
  Peter Drucker


• In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.
  Author Unknown


• Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.
  Author Unknown


• The down side about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
  Author Unknown


• In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
  Mason Cooley


• Fishing Yesterday, Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow I must be retired
  Author Unknown


• What do gardeners do when they retire?
  Bob Monkhouse


• Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
  Gene Perret


• Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends.
  Author Unknown


• Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.
  George F. Burns


• The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
  Milton Berle




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