Funny Wedding Quotes

FUNNY WEDDING QUOTE OF THE PAGE
Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle. - Heinrich Heine

Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford – but you'll take him anyway. - Judith Viorst

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. - Jean Kerr

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light. - Mark Twain

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable? - Carrie Snow

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. - Author Unknown

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. - Helen Rowland

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. – Author Unknown

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates

Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it. - Helen Rowland

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him. - Cher

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted. - Helen Rowland

A wedding ring is sort of a tourniquet worn on one's finger to stop circulation. - Author Unknown

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery. -George Nathan

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. - Samuel Johnson

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night. - Peter Ustinov

All weddings, except those with shotguns in evidence, are wonderful. - Liz Smith

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